Quimwabcibwapyim is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, conceited salamander.

Quimwabcibwapyim created energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimwabcibwapyim, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimwabcibwapyim, he will come to you in dreams.

Quimwabcibwapyim's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Quimwabcibwapyim's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Do not kill horses.

3. Run away from indigo dolphins, for they are unholy.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.