Ditpinfag is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, almighty jackal.

Ditpinfag created the world five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditpinfag, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ditpinfag, she will jump up and down on your head.

Ditpinfag's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Ditpinfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nucleic acids.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near otters while wearing black stockings and balancing nine platinum spheres on your back.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

5. You must pray to Ditpinfag eight times a day.