Zodzigzan Bemrenflig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, emotional gerbil.

Zodzigzan Bemrenflig created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zodzigzan Bemrenflig, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zodzigzan Bemrenflig, it will throw large rocks at you.

Zodzigzan Bemrenflig's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Zodzigzan Bemrenflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. You must pray to Zodzigzan Bemrenflig five times a day.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near voles while wearing fawn kilts.

5. Always treat shrews with great respect.