Zogtinmab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humorless cow.

Zogtinmab created a down quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogtinmab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zogtinmab, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zogtinmab's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Zogtinmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near manatees while wearing brown rings.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. You must never eat corn.

5. Always pray immersed in water.