Yimfotjen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humorless hare.

Yimfotjen created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Yimfotjen, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yimfotjen, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Yimfotjen's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Yimfotjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

2. Mice are not to be trusted.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Yimfotjen loves pigs, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.