Podlapcit is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, ill-tempered cat.

Podlapcit created vertebrates three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Podlapcit, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Podlapcit, it will turn you into a sheep.

Podlapcit's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Podlapcit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

2. Do not kill nematodes.

3. Snakes are not to be trusted.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not wear magenta clothing.