Wipxenhottargbastben is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, smart tapir.

Wipxenhottargbastben created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Wipxenhottargbastben, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wipxenhottargbastben, it will jump up and down on your head.

Wipxenhottargbastben's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Wipxenhottargbastben's Holy Commandments

1. Always help capybaras.

2. Hide if four voles approach from the north.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never bounce in holy places.