Zaknellcam is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, grumpy mole.

Zaknellcam created an atom four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zaknellcam, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zaknellcam, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Zaknellcam's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Zaknellcam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never run near tapirs.