Tagquaffligquim is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unfair clam.

Tagquaffligquim created the planet Jupiter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tagquaffligquim, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tagquaffligquim, he will turn you into a mole.

Tagquaffligquim's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Tagquaffligquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

4. Never think ill of sick moths.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.