Tofbusgov is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, sapient lobster.

Tofbusgov created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofbusgov, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tofbusgov, he will turn you into a plant.

Tofbusgov's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Tofbusgov's Holy Commandments

1. Tofbusgov loves ants, so they must be respected.

2. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

3. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never write about quantum gravity.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.