Gatartbin is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, flying bear.

Gatartbin created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatartbin, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gatartbin, it will turn you into a slug.

Gatartbin's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Gatartbin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick whales.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Gatartbin in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near voles while wearing purple kilts and balancing four titanium spheres on your hands.

4. Never hurt horses.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.