Quilljipvog is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, loving dragon.

Quilljipvog created snails nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quilljipvog, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quilljipvog, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Quilljipvog's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Quilljipvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to monkeys while wearing shirts.

2. Always treat mice with great respect.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Quilljipvog in the centre of the settlement.