Tikgeplaplargvidpadlak is a god.

She takes the form of a small, contented donkey.

Tikgeplaplargvidpadlak created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikgeplaplargvidpadlak, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tikgeplaplargvidpadlak, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tikgeplaplargvidpadlak's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Tikgeplaplargvidpadlak's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tikgeplaplargvidpadlak.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Tikgeplaplargvidpadlak in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never paint your arms cyan.