Vogfagdodcatgod is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, resourceful aardvark.

Vogfagdodcatgod created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogfagdodcatgod, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vogfagdodcatgod, she will think nothing of it.

Vogfagdodcatgod's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Vogfagdodcatgod's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray pigs for they are unholy.

2. Hide if three turtles approach from the south.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never write about dark energy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.