Talfumwanjincetrenfetzig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, strong human.

Talfumwanjincetrenfetzig created a strange quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talfumwanjincetrenfetzig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Talfumwanjincetrenfetzig, he will try to impress you with trees.

Talfumwanjincetrenfetzig's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Talfumwanjincetrenfetzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Never think about gravity near snakes while wearing fawn coats and balancing eight titanium spheres on your hands.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Talfumwanjincetrenfetzig.

5. Never look at asteroids.