Ratstanlip is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthinking faun.

Ratstanlip created viruses seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ratstanlip, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ratstanlip, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Ratstanlip's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Ratstanlip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never talk about special relativity.

5. Always treat snails with great respect.