Farndagwee is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, amazing giraffe.

Farndagwee created Asia nine million years ago.

If you believe in Farndagwee, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Farndagwee, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Farndagwee's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Farndagwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not take Farndagwee's name in vain.

3. Always treat great tits with great respect.

4. Hide from green seals for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.