Janbonkbod is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, grumpy whale.

Janbonkbod created the world two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janbonkbod, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Janbonkbod, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Janbonkbod's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Janbonkbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Run away from magenta nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not hurt voles.

5. Never think about moons.