Tunnurthit is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, selfish giraffe.

Tunnurthit created the Cigar Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunnurthit, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tunnurthit, it will turn you into a goat.

Tunnurthit's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tunnurthit's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear orange.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Tunnurthit must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never eat green fruit.