Wansiscen Tarptettifad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish tortoise.

Wansiscen Tarptettifad created a down quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Wansiscen Tarptettifad, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wansiscen Tarptettifad, it will destroy your home planet.

Wansiscen Tarptettifad's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Wansiscen Tarptettifad's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Wansiscen Tarptettifad must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Wansiscen Tarptettifad loves geese, so they must be honoured.