Gomzigflywadbed is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, happy dog.

Gomzigflywadbed created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomzigflywadbed, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gomzigflywadbed, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Gomzigflywadbed's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Gomzigflywadbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near ducks while wearing brown jumpers and balancing four carbon spheres on your chest.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not eat apples.

5. Always help sick aardvarks.