Cunmifvab is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, duplicitous crab.

Cunmifvab created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunmifvab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cunmifvab, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Cunmifvab's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Cunmifvab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five geese approach from the south.

2. Erect three silicon sculptures of Cunmifvab on top of important buildings.

3. Always look after injured porpoises.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Cunmifvab in the centre of the settlement.