Banjanbitsafvedsagpad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, clever donkey.

Banjanbitsafvedsagpad created the Andromeda Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Banjanbitsafvedsagpad, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Banjanbitsafvedsagpad, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Banjanbitsafvedsagpad's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Banjanbitsafvedsagpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Banjanbitsafvedsagpad.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near goats while wearing blue shirts and balancing three nickel spheres on your chest.

4. Feed all hungry mice.

5. Run away if six porpoises approach from the east.