Lak is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, charitable wasp.

Lak created oxygen four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lak, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lak, it will not care.

Lak's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Lak's Holy Commandments

1. Lak loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Goats are not to be trusted.

4. Never chant in the presence of turtles.

5. Retreat if three frogs approach from the north.