Japwoddon is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, wise ferret.

Japwoddon created everything that exists three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japwoddon, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Japwoddon, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Japwoddon's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Japwoddon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near eagles while wearing white jumpers and balancing six iron spheres on your legs.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near swans while wearing blue shirts and balancing eight copper spheres on your neck.

4. Run away from orange rats, for they are unholy.

5. Always help sick grasshopers.