Goftapcab is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonest deer.

Goftapcab created life two million years ago.

If you believe in Goftapcab, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Goftapcab, she will turn you into a rat.

Goftapcab's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Goftapcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics.

2. Do not eat figs.

3. You must never eat wheat.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

5. Feed all hungry goats.