Gilnilsom is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous tortoise.

Gilnilsom created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilnilsom, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gilnilsom, he will think nothing of it.

Gilnilsom's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Gilnilsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of sharks.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Gilnilsom must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.