Gilfomyam is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, compassionate dolphin.

Gilfomyam created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilfomyam, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gilfomyam, it will have a low opinion of you.

Gilfomyam's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Gilfomyam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. You must pray to Gilfomyam six times a day.

3. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.