Motwapcem is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, egotistical scorpion.

Motwapcem created the Sun two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Motwapcem, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Motwapcem, he will turn you into a worm.

Motwapcem's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Motwapcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Worship no other gods but Motwapcem.

3. Never feed beans to capybaras while wearing fawn boots.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Feed all hungry monkeys.