Yamyarlvab is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, deceitful monkey.

Yamyarlvab created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yamyarlvab, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yamyarlvab, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yamyarlvab's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Yamyarlvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Yamyarlvab loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Feed all hungry great tits.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.