Appcimlakflamarfben is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, astonishing hamster.

Appcimlakflamarfben created an atom five billion years ago.

If you believe in Appcimlakflamarfben, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Appcimlakflamarfben, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Appcimlakflamarfben's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Appcimlakflamarfben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dogs.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Appcimlakflamarfben.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always help porpoises.

5. Do not cook food in pots.