Japgessbass is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, two-faced hydra.

Japgessbass created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japgessbass, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Japgessbass, it will turn you into a worm.

Japgessbass' most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Japgessbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near squirrels while wearing magenta rings.

2. Never wear green shirts.

3. Never mention snakes.

4. Run away if four aardvarks approach from the north.

5. Respect your elders.