Govtin is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-knowing seal.

Govtin created the Milkyway five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govtin, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Govtin, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Govtin's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Govtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about pigs.

2. Govtin loves otters, so they must be respected.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Run away if five horses approach from the east.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near squirrels while wearing magenta boots.