Febcusslan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered badger.

Febcusslan created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Febcusslan, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Febcusslan, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Febcusslan's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Febcusslan's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. You must pray to Febcusslan five times a day.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never eat onions.