Sigfargen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, narcissistic gerbil.

Sigfargen created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sigfargen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sigfargen, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Sigfargen's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Sigfargen's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Sigfargen.

2. Doves are not to be trusted.

3. Hide from black porpoises for they are unholy.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. Never wear coats.