Yarlbesscap is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, unjust troll.

Yarlbesscap created Europe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlbesscap, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarlbesscap, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yarlbesscap's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Yarlbesscap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near foxes while wearing brown rings.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never eat bread.

5. Never hop in the presence of aardvarks.