Nurgupmil is a god.

She takes the form of a small, all-knowing faun.

Nurgupmil created parasitic wasps six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurgupmil, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nurgupmil, she will turn you into a duck.

Nurgupmil's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Nurgupmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nucleic acids.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never feed lots of nuts to snails while wearing gray ear rings.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Nurgupmil.

5. Never eat bark.