Flagtinrat is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, egotistical penguin.

Flagtinrat created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagtinrat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flagtinrat, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flagtinrat's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Flagtinrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near tortoises while wearing red skirts and balancing seven tin spheres on your hands.

2. Flagtinrat loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

5. Never look at nebulae.