Stragkemjap is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthinking wombat.

Stragkemjap created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stragkemjap, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Stragkemjap, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Stragkemjap's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Stragkemjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near squirrels while wearing mauve coats.

2. You must pray to Stragkemjap nine times a day.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.