Wapyimfum is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, humane unicorn.

Wapyimfum created the Virgo Supercluster seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapyimfum, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wapyimfum, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Wapyimfum's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Wapyimfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not take Wapyimfum's name in vain.

5. Always look after injured turtles.