Xuczakmip is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, passionate spider.

Xuczakmip created the Sunflower Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Xuczakmip, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Xuczakmip, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Xuczakmip's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Xuczakmip's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always wear brown.

3. You must pray to Xuczakmip three times a day.

4. Never hurt sheep.

5. Fast once a month.