Kadlamdag is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, awe-inspiring elephant.

Kadlamdag created parasitic wasps eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kadlamdag, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kadlamdag, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kadlamdag's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Kadlamdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Kadlamdag on top of all buildings.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never wear green tights.

5. Kadlamdag loves sheep, so they must be honoured.