Xucbisswon is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish pigeon.

Xucbisswon created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Xucbisswon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Xucbisswon, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Xucbisswon's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Xucbisswon's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never skip near grasshopers.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Xucbisswon.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.