Jadgofxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, deceitful swallow.

Jadgofxuck created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadgofxuck, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Jadgofxuck, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jadgofxuck's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Jadgofxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are not to be trusted.

2. Never wear blue trousers.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always obey Jadgofxuck's priests.

5. Pray towards the south.