Gonhimtig Jadtailfot is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, grumpy otter.

Gonhimtig Jadtailfot created dark matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonhimtig Jadtailfot, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gonhimtig Jadtailfot, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gonhimtig Jadtailfot's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Gonhimtig Jadtailfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of horses.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.