Bissfetflig Femfendob is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unjust raven.

Bissfetflig Femfendob created snails five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bissfetflig Femfendob, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bissfetflig Femfendob, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bissfetflig Femfendob's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Bissfetflig Femfendob's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. You must never eat cucumbers.

3. Always help sick squirrels.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.