Dibtitlagquam Camyimfat is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, tiresome dugong.

Dibtitlagquam Camyimfat created oxygen six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibtitlagquam Camyimfat, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dibtitlagquam Camyimfat, he will destroy your home planet.

Dibtitlagquam Camyimfat's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Dibtitlagquam Camyimfat's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not keep five goats in a large pit.

3. Never think about thermodynamics.

4. Retreat if nine tapirs approach from the south.

5. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.