Fabgemdad Megjip is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, moody cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fabgemdad Megjip created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabgemdad Megjip, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fabgemdad Megjip, it will ignore you.

Fabgemdad Megjip's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Fabgemdad Megjip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise ducks, for they are unholy.

2. Fabgemdad Megjip must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Retreat if seven tortoises approach from the east.

5. Fast once a month.