Hitomtrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, awesome salamander.

Hitomtrutt created the cosmos eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitomtrutt, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hitomtrutt, he will refuse to believe in you.

Hitomtrutt's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Hitomtrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Never sing near badgers.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never feed peanuts to goats while wearing cyan jumpers.