Toflenmad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unfair gorilla.

Toflenmad created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Toflenmad, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Toflenmad, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Toflenmad's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Toflenmad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals in need.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never go into blue rooms.

5. You must love Toflenmad.